Friday, November 7, 2008

Q:
I am not afraid of the devil, but I can't sleep.   Can you help me?  I don't want to take drugs.  When I try to count sheep I break out in a sweat.  Warm milk gives me the creeps.
--Odelia Stars;  Ballinburg, Texas
A:
Tell me, Odelia – why do you WANT to sleep?  Sheep are filthy animals, and warm milk is teeming with dangerous micro-organisms.  It seems to me your instincts in this matter are sound.  Indulge yourself for eight hours a night, Odelia! Have more sex!  Tunnel under a bank!  Prowl the rooftops like the crepuscular leopardess your soul longs to inhabit! 

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